


Inappropriate

by PhilistiniPhagottini



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 08:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhilistiniPhagottini/pseuds/PhilistiniPhagottini
Summary: They should have just left you.





	Inappropriate

**Author's Note:**

> I was drunk when I wrote this and now you get to suffer as a consequence. Even sober I still found this way too funny. Don't take this too seriously, I just wanted to share my drunk shenanigans. Enjoy my children.

They had been reluctant to take you. They didn't want you in danger. But you insisted that you would be fine. You wanted to help. You weren't completely useless. You were determined to help Trunks and his future timeline and no one could convince you otherwise. You would just leave most of the fighting to Goku and Vegeta. They could handle it. You hoped.

It was strange to be going up against Goku like this. You could tell from the first moment you saw him that he wasn’t the same. You knew it wasn't the man you fell in love with. You had to remind yourself every time you saw Black's face. It was easy to get over. After the initial shock had worn off you just wanted to wipe that smug smirk off his face. It unsettled you and it sullied Goku's image in your mind. 

Into the fray you went without a moment’s hesitation. You never got too close to him. You kept your distance, knowing how powerful your Goku was. Perhaps it was your knowledge of Goku that aided you in this fight. You knew how he fought and how to dodge most of his attacks. All those hours of sparring with your partner was finally paying off. 

It wasn't long before things finally kicked up a notch. You knew it was serious when Goku went Super Saiyan God. But he wasn't the only one who had a transformation. His double had a little surprise for all of you as well. You had been close to him when he went Super Saiyan and for a moment you were stunned. 

His hair was different. Instead of seeing shimmering gold hair or illustrious blue strands, you were treated to a new colour. It was a gorgeous rose pink. Wait pink? You stared at the spiky pink tresses as your brain slowly ticked over. If his hair was pink then that would mean...

A smile suddenly crept up onto your face. You had to quickly cover your mouth with your hands to hide it. This was a serious moment you should not be thinking about that. Your shoulders stared to shake and you tried to bite your tongue but you just couldn't hold it in. A fit of laughter wormed its way up your throat and you let it out. 

It was so unexpected that even your enemy had stopped in their tracks. He just gave you an incredulous look, like you had suddenly grown a second head. Even your teammates were staring at you in disbelief.

Your holler was so loud in the otherwise silent city below you that it seemed to cause an echo. You couldn't stop it though. The longer you stared at the fake Goku the harder you laughed. Black tilted his head, his single earring clicking from the movement. Most people ran in fear at the sight of him. Yet here you were, cackling like a madwoman. You certainly were strange.

You felt something snag you around the waist and suddenly pull you. Goku had used Instant Transmission to get you away from Black before he took your moment of weakness to strike. The Saiyan deposited you safely on the ground, handling you like you were made out of fine china. Your laughter died down briefly but it wasn't long before it started up again when you look back up at Black. 

"Are you alright?" Goku asked, a hint of concern lacing his voice. 

"I...can't...breathe" you wheezed.

Tears were pricking the corner of your eyes and your ribs were starting to hurt from your mad laughter. But you just couldn't stop. It was just too funny. Goku looked up at his doppelganger, hoping to find the answer there. It was no use; he looked just as confused as Goku did. 

You were joined by Trunks and Vegeta, the younger half Saiyan looking worried about you. He crouched at your side, his eyes quickly examining you for any kind of head trauma. You had a few scratches but otherwise you looked fine. He opened his mouth to speak but his father was quick to cut him off. 

"Have you gone mad?" Vegeta yelled. "Why are you laughing?"

It took a moment for you to respond and several failed attempts to talk without laughing.

"Because I know for a fact that the carpets match the drapes!" you crowed. 

After finally getting the sentence out it only caused you to laugh more, tears streaming down your face as you held your sides. Trunks was so surprised by your indecent choice of words he fell over onto his backside with a loud thud, a bewildered look settling onto his face.

You had seen gold and you had seen blue. But you certainly hadn’t seen bright pink. Your laughter was so out of control you even snorted a few times, which only caused more bouts of giggles to spill out of your mouth. Your exclamation had been so loud that even Black could hear your obnoxious voice drifting on the winds. His eyebrow twitched in irritation as he scowled, obviously annoyed with your antics.

"Such a vulgar mortal" he spat.

"But you're not denying it!" you shouted, pointing a finger at him. 

Black grit his teeth, hissing under his breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Even from this distance you could see the lovely shade of red his face was. But it was probably more out of anger than embarrassment. You didn't care. You were having too much fun with your new discovery to stop. The meaning of your words obviously went straight over Goku's head. He scratched his cheek idly, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips.

"I don't get it" he said.

Vegeta didn’t want to waste his breath trying to explain it to the clueless Saiyan. It would give him a headache just thinking about it.

“This isn’t a game” he growled at you. When he noticed you weren’t listening he turned his glare to Goku. “Control your woman Kakarot!”

Your laughter ceased momentarily as you stared up at the sky, completely breathless. Your stomach was aching and your throat was stinging. Everyone collectively sighed with relief. They thought it was finally over. Until another intrusive question popped up. 

"Wait what if one of you could go Super Saiyan Rainbow?" you wondered out loud.

In a much quieter voice you added:

"Taste the rainbow."

It was official. They had completely lost you. 

"Guys, I think we broke her" Trunks sighed. 

Vegeta scowled down at you, shaking his head as you continued to roll around on the floor, dying from your bouts of hysterical laughter. They should have definitely left you at home. 


End file.
